You Can Change The World

You can change the world.

How utterly intimidating is that? How many doubts creep in the moment those words leave your mouth? The world? How can I, just one person, change the world? I am nothing special. I am just...me.

The answer may surprise you, but not as much as the journey to discovering it. For the solution to this problem- of changing the world that is (and yes, it is a rather daunting dilemma that many have tried to fix)- is not found through mass movements of people, but mass conversions of hearts. The most important? Your own. What power, what beauty, what love rests within each of us. We so often fail to see our own potential, getting swept in the waves of what the world tells us we need to be. We limit ourselves based on others' opinions when we should be thriving on our unique gifts we can offer.

You have so much potential. Hearts can be changed, lives can be impacted, if you say yes to the invitations that present themselves every day. These opportunities to show to love to someone else ultimately change your heart. They help you to see the world for what it truly is- one full of suffering people in search of faith, hope and above all love. There is a great need for everyone to find their worth in love. The world is covered in darkness, but we have the amazing invitation to be a light that radiates the love of Jesus. This love casts out fear and dispels the darkness. Love allows us to see God in the every day miracles- something He is trying to show us in those invitations each day.

How can you change the world? Start within the world of your own heart. Surrender your fears, your worries to Him. Lay them at the cross. Amidst the noises of the world and of your own heart you can get lost, but within the noise you can be found. Your identity as a child of Christ is the most true truth the world has known. No one can take that away from you, not even you. God loves you so infinitely and uniquely that He died for you.

He calls us to die to ourselves every day, to surrender it all to Him so that He can show us who we are and who we are meant to be. Only within the silence can He set our hearts on fire. Only with a heart on fire can we truly begin to serve those around us. Only by serving those around us through love can we impact the world.

You can change the world. Find silence.

A Poem: Letter From God

It never ceases to amaze me how God works in mysterious ways to bring about the most unexpected, yet needed, experiences. Last November, I was invited to go on a mission trip with FOCUS (Fellowship of Catholic University Students) to Kolkata, India for about a month. It took a giant leap of faith, but I truly feel that God is calling me to have this experience. Now, with the trip of a lifetime only 40 days away, I am feeling excited yet anxious.

It is often easy for me to get caught up in the daily activities that life throws at me. Between school, meetings and work, it seems as though faith has no room. Too many times have I been the victim of this and seen others fall to it as well. I have come to realize that my faith is what grounds me. It keeps me going and gives the energy I need to face the challenges that come with life. Just this morning during prayer, I was inspired to write. Here is the poem that was written when I was done:

Dearest Daughter,

I fight for you
Every second of every day.
Come to me, and I will take all the pain away.
Turn to me and you will find
I can give you the love you've been searching for all this time.

You are never alone
For I have never left your side.
I have been there always
And held you as you've cried.

Every smile, every tear
I have been there through it all
Lifting you high and catching you when you fall.
There are so many things that I want to give
So that you will find the happiness I want you to live.

I long for you to turn around and see
I have been waiting for you patiently.
To say I love you is only just the start,
For you are my daughter and you will always have my heart.

Love,
God

This is a great reminder for me to know that I am not in this alone. None of us are. I feel sometimes like I am David going up against Goliath and that I have no chance of winning no matter how hard I try. What I forget is that I actually cannot do or win anything, not without God. He has given me everything I have and blessed me in every aspect of my life. Going to India I am sure will open my eyes even more to the blessings I have. It will be a humbling experience to say the least while I work with the Missionaries of Charity to help the poorest of the poor.

God made me with love, for love, and to love. He made all of us this way, and we are nothing without Him.

European Adventure!

View from the house

If I had to describe my trip to Europe in one word, I would have to go with life-changing. From the million dollar view at my aunt and uncle's house in Switzerland, to the castles in Germany, to the hustle and bustle and ruins of Rome, I got a taste of many aspects of Europe. Not to mention all of the great people I met while there. I would probably talk your ear off about my trip. So if you have time, I would love to tell you all about it! There are a few things I want to write about on here though that played a major role on the trip and since then.

First, I will take you to the Vatican- number one on my list of things to see. I don't know if it was the layout of Rome or our excitement, but the 2.5 mile walk from our hotel to the Vatican seemed to take no time at all. Seeing the Trevi Fountain, Pantheon, and Piazza Navona on the way didn't hurt the time flying by either. We started with the Scavi Tour once we arrived at the Vatican. If you ever get the chance to go to Rome, GO ON THIS TOUR. Seriously, it was incredible and near the top of my favorite things we did!

"And so I (Jesus) say to you, you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of the netherworld shall not prevail against it." ~Matthew 16:18

This was the bible verse that was read when we were at the end of the tour of the Necropolis. Here I was able to be as physically close (approximately 15 feet, we could see his jaw bone) as possible to the bones of Saint Peter. Here, I was able to restate what Peter told Jesus over 2000 years ago: "You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God" (Matthew 16:16) while standing near the bones of the man who said it. Confessing this with Peter was unbelievably humbling and powerful. Words simply cannot do it justice.

Then I went up to see Saint Peter's Basilica. Everything- being there, seeing Peter's bones- hit me the moment I walked into the Basilica. The sheer magnitude of what I was experiencing and had experienced overwhelmed me with joy and I started crying. Having this opportunity to pray there where so many great and holy people have done the same is something I will never forget.
 

Second, I take you to the Scala Sancta or "Holy Stairs". These 28 stairs provided me with the climb of a lifetime, or more appropriately a representation of the climb through a lifetime. I honestly did not really know what I was getting myself into when I started.  Wood covers the actual stairs to preserve them. To climb, you must go up on your knees as a devotion- a task that seems easy but in reality is not.

At the first step you have energy, determination, the feeling of invincibility almost. You feel like this will be easy and take no time at all. Then you start climbing. With each step, the stairs seem like they will never end. Your knees get weaker, your back sorer. Pretty quickly you realize that you were foolish to think it would be easy. It's still manageable to climb because there are handrails aiding you along. Then all of a sudden, the rails disappear. At this point, you literally start crawling up the stairs as your support is gone. With every movement and step, your body is screaming to stop, give up, simply stand and walk the rest. It's so tempting.

This is the climb of life. At the beginning of life, it's new. You are young, have more energy then you can handle it seems. Everything is something you have never seen, done, heard. Unaware of the challenges to come, you think life will be easy and don't understand what you are really getting into. As you go up the steps, much like growing older, you realize it won't be so easy. You are still going strong though since the handrails are there. These are like the things in life that offer support- family, friends, etc.- and you feel safe to continue even if it's hard.
 

When the handrails disappear, you are faced with the biggest challenge yet. This doesn't have to be at the end of life, the handrails can disappear at any time. It's that time when the world has turned away from you, when you feel as though you can't go on, that no one cares. We all know a time in our life when we have felt like our handrails disappeared. For me, this happened a couple years ago when I went through a rough time and where giving up seemed like the best option. But as I was climbing the stairs, I was reminded of my own life when the handrails disappeared and how I came to be where I am today. I looked around and was surrounded by strangers struggling just like I was. Some people probably think we are crazy to climb these stairs on our knees. They ask why we are doing this- willingly going through this pain? It's because of who was waiting at the top.
 

Somehow I never truly understood the pain Jesus went through, and I realize I may never know. Climbing these stairs offered me a unique challenge as I got a slight glimpse into what Jesus suffered. When I reached that point where I was tempted to give up, that's when I looked up and saw Him. He was there, watching me from the cross. What a source of inspiration! Here was Jesus, the one person who could have simply said "I'm done" and given up on us all but didn't. That's when the overpowering feeling of love hit me. For the first time, I was able to understand in a different way why He died for me. Because He loves me with a love so amazingly beautiful and powerful, and no other image could possibly convey that so perfectly than Jesus on the cross. To give your life to save another is the greatest showing of love- and Jesus gave it all. For me. For you. For all of us.
 

We each have our own steps to climb and our own unique journey with different challenges. I know I've had many challenges in my life thus far. Once I looked up to Him and offered them up, I had renewed strength and life. With Him, I can and was able to overcome all challenges that life has thrown at me. The desire to get to the top has never been stronger. When I finally finished that last step in Rome- cut knees and all- it was a feeling of pure joy. All the pain, all the hardships were worth it once I finished. That is exactly what Jesus wants for us. He provides us with the encouragement and hope we need in times of trouble. He is not only watching over us every second, but present among us. He is also there in body and blood in the Eucharist- just like the visible blood stains on the steps as you climb. We are never alone. At the end, if we give ourselves to Him and climb our stairs with Him, our prize is Jesus and heaven. What could possibly be better than that?

Living Life To The Fullest

"It is the spirit that gives life, while the flesh is of no avail. The words I have spoken to you are spirit and life." ~John 6: 63


The resilience of the spirit astounds me sometimes. I was inspired when I went to daily mass today. One of my elementary school teacher's husband has cancer, and it has progressed over the last few months. They aren't sure how much longer he will be on earth with us. I see this all too often it seems where people I know are suffering from a chronic disease such as cancer. Most people will lose hope and give up. What makes my teacher's husband different? Faith.

Faith is saving him. I don't mean in the sense of physically, but spiritually. For while his body is dying, his spirit is fully alive. He is not angry or bitter, but instead living his life to the fullest and enjoying the time God has given him. To see him, despite his condition, still having faith is the definition of being alive. This puts some of the hardships I've been going through into perspective.

We all have times where we suffer. Some days are especially tough when we feel as though the world is crashing down on us. If we aren't living a life centered in Christ, we are dead. God gave us an intellect and a free will. He loves us so much to give us the choice to choose Him. He does not force His love upon us. So why do bad things happen? To show us that our life here is temporary.

We were not made for this world. We were made to share in the eternal and perfect Kingdom of God that was created for us- heaven. When sin entered the world, we were divided from God, and we continue to separate ourselves further every time we sin and don't choose Him. God could not give us the perfect kingdom because we were not perfect, and we still aren't. Far from it actually.

As humans, we are in love with things that are beautiful. We dislike war, fighting, arguments, disease, rejection, disappointment, and many others. These are ugly things brought about by sin because we are not perfect. Still, there is hope. Take Mother Teresa and Pope John Paul II.  Their good deeds seem foreign, their happiness is a mystery. When people like them come into the world, people are transfixed and fascinated. Why? They are attracted to the beauty that they see. What is this beauty? It is a spirit set on fire with love for Jesus.
 
This is not to imply that Mother Teresa and Pope John Paul II were perfect because they weren't. They were human after all. But they were alive in a way that most aren't. They radiated holiness because their spirits were alive with the love of God. We (the world) have been blessed to have them and all the saints as examples. They are proof that there is hope. Take time to read about the lives of the saints. Their stories are truly remarkable because they were not perfect. Before they lived lives of holiness, they went through temptations, hardships, and trials that you and I suffer. They know what it's like to live here on earth. They also know how turning to Jesus can transform your life. That is why we pray to them and ask them to help us. Many of them were plain Janes and average Joes in their time, yet God called and used them to change the world. God did it for them- he will do it for you too. But you need to have faith.

Only with faith can your spirit come alive and can you live a life centered in Christ. With Christ as the center, you will know what it is like to live. There is happiness, peace, comfort- things that the world is in desperate need of. We are all called to be saints. God may not be calling you to be the next Mother Teresa or Pope John Paul II- or maybe He is for God does remarkable things and you do not know exactly what He has planned for you- but if you allow God to transform your heart and set your spirit on fire, you will change the world.

Be at peace: Turn to Jesus

"But he should ask in faith, not doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed about by the wind" ~James 1:6

How easy it is to doubt. Much like Thomas (doubting Thomas from the Gospel), we hide behind the disappointments that life can bring. With each one, we guard our hearts out of fear that they will be crushed again. We are broken.

These disappointments prove to be even more reason to have faith. They show us that no earthly thing will ever fully satisfy us. The only thing that can is the one who created us. He never lets us down. Even when the world seems crazy and full of negativity, the love of God shines through and shows us the way.

But we need to have faith. Without it, we are subject to conform to the things in life that will only bring us that disappointment. Each time we do not have total faith, we lose the trust that God is working tirelessly for us to have. If we go into prayer and go to God half-heartedly, not truly trusting and believing in His power, mercy, and love, we will continue to be disappointed and turn away from Him.

By surrendering everything to Jesus, you allow your heart to be vulnerable. It is in that state- when you go to Jesus as you are- that healing can take place. We all carry wounds on our hearts. I know I do. We may not know what they are, but if you open yourself to Jesus and trust that He can heal you- He will.

His love is so overwhelming. I have been blessed to experience His healing love in moments where I surrendered all that I am to Him. It is truly incredible. My senior year of high school, my class wrote a prayer. There is one line that has stuck with me:
          "When faced with obstacles, be our refuge and strength for through You all
          things are possible."
Jesus is calling us to trust Him. We never have to go through anything alone. He is there in good times and in bad. He is the ultimate best friend and yearns to help us in all aspects of life.

God has blessed you so incredibly and He has great things planned for you. I hope you not only realize that but believe it and have faith in it. Everything happens for a reason, and He will never lead you astray. Every situation, every joy, every sorrow, every disappointment is ultimately leading to your happiness.

You need to surrender everything. You need to allow your heart to become vulnerable. You need to let God into those places where you can't trust Him. He is yearning for you to ask Him to love you. To allow His mercy to flood your heart and heal every wound so you can be open to His love and plan for your life. He will give you the faith you need to live in a world full of darkness and negativity. Don't let the wind drive and toss you. Be stable. Be strong. Be at peace. Turn to Jesus.

Centered in Christ

The headache I felt prior was indeed no headache at all, but the feeling of me spinning. I had found myself on a merry-go-round. Like anyone who teeters on the edge of a spinning merry-go-round, I was terrified. The fear of falling off seized me and I desperately looked for something to hold on to. That's when I saw Him.

Jesus was in the center of this ride. In the center of a merry-go-round it is safe, secure, and fun. So there was my answer, what I was looking for to hold on to. I needed to get to the center. However, when I tried to take a step toward Him, something pulled me back. When I looked around, evil spirits were there, waiting to pull me back. I looked in a panic at Jesus and He calmly smiled at me and opened His arms. I looked around and handlebars appeared for me to cling to. As I looked at them, I saw things such as family and friends- things that bring me closer to Jesus and stabilize me on the ride of life- on them. Each time I dismissed an evil spirit, it would let me go and I could take one step closer. Finally, I reached the center and fell into Jesus' welcoming embrace. He held me close and told me:
         "Jessica, I love you. I have been waiting for you. I know that life gets hard and is
          crazy at times, but as long as you keep me at the center, you are safe. With me,
          nothing can harm you. Work to get to this center every day. I have so much
          planned for you, and you just need to trust me. I have placed people and things in
          your life to help you along the way. Remember to always walk to me, even in the
          most difficult times and I will help you. I love you my child."
In that moment, I was the happiest I have ever been in my life. It was only for a short time, but I caught a glimpse of heaven and what is to come. God's love is beyond anything that I can describe. I was so full of joy and love that I could not contain it and started laughing.

Life is like a merry-go-round. We are constantly spinning, with the possibility of flying off at any moment. We can choose to be afraid and live a life full of fear and on the edge or to be in the center and live a life full of happiness and love. God gives us the choice. He gave us Jesus, the center, the rock. Without Him, we are on the edge, being pulled by our own evil and sin. But Jesus is there, waiting with open arms wanting to give us the happiness we desire. He gives us our family, friends, things we love to stabilize and help us. Much like the handlebars, they help us to stay on even when we are in the greatest danger of flying off. They are there to help us take those steps to get to the center, to Him. We simply need to trust in Him. Always. For it is in Him that we are fulfilled. He wants us all to experience His love.

On the merry-go-round of life, I choose to live in the center. Where do you want to be?